Galicia Gordon on Leading Learners Blog

Feb 24, 2022

How To Get Every Single Thing You Want And Find Your Worth

I am going to share something that can be viewed as either exciting, saddening, or clarifying. This is the truth of life. The truth of life is that you will not get what you want until you believe you are worthy and deserving of it. Yes, this is true in every aspect of life. Meaning, until you believe you are worthy of being rich, you will not be rich. Until you believe you deserve marriage, you will not be married. And until you believe you are worthy of fame, you will not be famous. Now, how do we see this in our everyday lives? 

Love and acceptance are things we all want, whether we are open about it or not, so we will start here. The reason why some of the most beautiful men and women in the world are not given commitment is not because of their opposite gender. It is rather because of what they believe they deserve. At a subconscious, and even conscious level, they do not believe they are worthy of commitment, love, time, attention, appreciation, or affection. It is the moment they say “I am worthy of love,” and in abusive situations, that they say “I deserve better,” where they receive it. If we think about those abusive or stonewalling situations, the large majority choose to stay because of the fact that they do not believe they deserve better or are worthy of receiving better treatment. And so, the cycle perpetuates. We see this too, after some of the most heartbreaking, heart-wrenching breakups, where the immediate next relationship is believed, in the receiver’s eyes, to be the best one yet, leaving the provider to feel like a savior. It is not necessarily the provider who is the savior, but rather the new belief system of the receiver who allowed them to come into their lives. 

As stated already, there is truth in the fact that our beliefs create the things in our lives. And the reason I began by saying that this truth of life may be saddening is that oftentimes the people who have the largest hearts do not believe they deserve their wants, needs, and sometimes, anything at all. For almost all the years of my life, I did not believe I deserved some basic needs like love, respect, or individual attention. And so, I allowed anyone and everyone to have a seat at my table (and my mind) and take anything from me. I denied myself like a sacrificial offering to the world, then wondered why I felt empty. Like several examples mentioned above, it is not the people, but yourself creating this in your life. I now walk around every single day confidently repeating to myself in my mind “I am beautiful, I am worthy, I am chosen” to undo my previous belief system. 

I have only ever really given chances to three guys in my life, and there hadn’t been a willing commitment in either of them. I have to emphasize here, that it does not matter how beautiful, smart, successful, rich, or antonyms of those words you are. The reason I did not have the commitment in the past was that I did not believe I deserved it, at all, whatsoever. Yes, I wanted it deeply, but I used to think it would never happen to me or that it would happen for everyone but me. And, of course, this is not something you would say aloud, and that was a belief standard I picked up early on from my mum, repeatedly telling me never to beg for someone to stay in your life, it was ingrained. For the past few weeks, I have created a new belief system of worthiness and what I am deserving of surrounding love. When I think about myself and a future partner, I say “I am worthy of love, time, attention, appreciation, commitment, and affection.” Once again, if you want anything in life, simply remove the limiting beliefs surrounding it that are blocking it from entering your life. Because I have been wanting to bring someone special into my life, I repeat those every day during my thirty-three-minute commute to and from home.

Next, let’s discuss the situations where individuals are successful in every area of their lives, but one. These outliers are, again, because of our beliefs. I will use an example of a close business connection I have, who will remain anonymous. “Jack” has been wanting to get the interest of “Julia” for three years now. They met during their college years, and “Jack” always helped “Julia” land a new job and supported her in every area of her life. Just looking at his business profile, I initially thought: ‘wow, he is perfect’ and believed he was a very smart and successful young man. When I tell you this man is successful, I mean, Forbes, New York Times, multi-million dollar business, and tens of thousands of supporters in his following. Oh, and “Jack” is still going with new businesses opening up. He is partially doing these things to get the interest of “Julia,” but he also has a passion and belief system that he will succeed in business, which is why his business ventures always do well. Is the lack of attention from “Julia” specifically her fault? No. “Jack” still believes he is not worthy of love, or even specifically, of her love. This is why the cycle perpetuates. In his case, for three years. Just a few weeks ago, she entered into a relationship with a guy who has no business connections, is doing a small internship, and quite frankly is not doing anything too fantastic for the world. “Jack” was crushed, and his heart broke into a million pieces. In a state of distress and disbelief, he unliked over 90 of her photos on social media, tried removing himself from her life, then pointed the finger at her in his mind thinking ‘after everything I’ve done for you, you went with this guy?’. Yes, it is true that he is understandably mad. But “Jack” should not be mad at “Julia” because she is only reflecting back to him his beliefs about love. In fact, the way she is showing up is a guideline for the progress of his beliefs on love. Once again, it is not “Julia”’s fault. Despite his hundreds of successes, he believed she would go with someone else, that he is not worthy of a supportive girlfriend, and that, three years later, he is worthy of everything but love. It is the fault of his subconscious, or conscious, beliefs of love. And it is quite sad because he truly loves her.

What about the people who claim they did not expect any of the things that they have? That is nonsense. But also, the world in itself tends to give us more than we expect if we neutralize our wants and subconsciously believe we are already worthy of it. What I want for whoever reading this to get away is to treat the world as a mirror of your beliefs. If you want to know where you are in your belief system, simply lift your eyes from this page and do a 360. If you don’t like what you see, look at someone’s life you aspire to be in. Not to replicate them in the physical, but rather have the belief that you are worthy and deserving of those things you want, and go about life as normal, knowing that they will appear. 

Lastly, I want to speak about motivation, a final word of advice, and persistence for getting the things that you want. There are men and women who would do anything - beg, lose all their money, and sacrifice everything in their lives for a certain one or two wants/desires in their lives. I will conclude with a personal example. There is a man I met just over a year ago that Ioved with my entire heart and soul. I bent over backward to make him feel comfortable because I have been told I am a very intimidating woman. I consider myself to be successful in my business endeavors, academic, writing, and financial efforts. I did not need him, but at the time, I did. I genuinely would have done everything for him that I mentioned just before. He was, in my eyes, my life. I was in a state of lack and disbelief of my worth and deservingness, which is why we fell apart. It is important to approach goals from an empowered state of pure worthiness and belief. I know, subconsciously and consciously, that I am beautiful, smart, strategic, useful, the best version of myself, and so very worthy. It took me 9 months to realize this since we last spoke, but I am never, ever, going back. As I type this in a lecture, I know I am worthy of love, time, attention, appreciation, commitment, individual affection, and even some admiration in a relationship. I am not begging for it, I am worthy of it. It is that difference, specifically the clicking moment, where you really say “I already know I’m going to get it, so I don’t worry.” I have finally gotten so much worth within myself to a point where I actively say “I love myself,” and reject and never look back on things that are dragging me down or not offering those things. If I receive crumbs, no entrance. If I receive 5 or more weeks of radio silence, no entrance. My worth is a barricade for anything lower than what I deserve. Despite how much I loved this one man, and maybe even still do, he, nor any man, can not enter until they are showing me the respect and giving that commitment I know I deserve. 

You know you will get what you want when you reject less than and can view the things you want as “of course I’m getting it, no big deal.” I want to end by saying that in the entirety of my years of living, I never would believe I was worthy of the things I want and desire until now. This is not the time for me to “have my moment” or soak it up for myself, but you too. Period. End of story